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FUNNIES
Nov 9, 2005 13:58:05 GMT -5
Post by freyja on Nov 9, 2005 13:58:05 GMT -5
#lol_crash# #rofl1# #lol_crash# #rofl1# **DISCLAIMER** #rofl1# #lol_crash# #rofl1# #lol_crash# #rofl1# #lol_crash#
Don't read this if your at work...wait till you get home!! (Your boss might get mad when you burst out in laughter!!! #bounce015# #bounce015# #lol_crash# #rofl1# #lol_crash#
Sperm Count
An 85-year-old man went to his doctor's office to get a sperm count. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow."
The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day. The doctor asked what happened and the man explained: "Well, doc, it's like this - First I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing.
Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, and still nothing. We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing."
The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor!?"
The old man replied, "Yep. And no matter what we tried, we still couldn't get the jar open."
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FUNNIES
Nov 9, 2005 14:43:54 GMT -5
Post by Gagay on Nov 9, 2005 14:43:54 GMT -5
#rofl1# #lol_crash#
Jane
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FUNNIES
Nov 9, 2005 14:59:52 GMT -5
Post by squishy on Nov 9, 2005 14:59:52 GMT -5
#jump2# Try this...it'll keep ya busy for a while... #lol_crash# Might even drive ya NUTS!!! #mad# #mad# Just don't get mad at me cuz you look at the clock and find you've spent all day tryin' fly this darn thing!! #watchit# #mur# #watchit# #mur# #lol_crash# www.hurtwood.demon.co.uk/Fun/copter.swfArgghh, that's too addicting!! haven't managed to beat my first score yet of 1289....i've just been going downhill since. I've got another one for you...believe me, it will certainly pass the time while we're waiting for the BiG news. There are 3 of these things so if anyone wants the other 2 lemme know....that's if you can get past the first haha www.ebaumsworld.com/crimsonroom.html
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FUNNIES
Nov 9, 2005 15:09:46 GMT -5
Post by Gagay on Nov 9, 2005 15:09:46 GMT -5
#jump2# Try this...it'll keep ya busy for a while... #lol_crash# Might even drive ya NUTS!!! #mad# #mad# Just don't get mad at me cuz you look at the clock and find you've spent all day tryin' fly this darn thing!! #watchit# #mur# #watchit# #mur# #lol_crash# www.hurtwood.demon.co.uk/Fun/copter.swfArgghh, that's too addicting!! haven't managed to beat my first score yet of 1289....i've just been going downhill since. I've got another one for you...believe me, it will certainly pass the time while we're waiting for the BiG news. There are 3 of these things so if anyone wants the other 2 lemme know....that's if you can get past the first haha www.ebaumsworld.com/crimsonroom.htmlI can't get out! #mur# Jane
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FUNNIES
Nov 9, 2005 15:18:11 GMT -5
Post by squishy on Nov 9, 2005 15:18:11 GMT -5
Hehehe, sorry!It is frusterating, but it's a good game....and it'll keep you busy. #lol# Hint: you need 13 items in total
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FUNNIES
Nov 9, 2005 21:55:39 GMT -5
Post by freyja on Nov 9, 2005 21:55:39 GMT -5
Hehehe, sorry!It is frusterating, but it's a good game....and it'll keep you busy. #lol# Hint: you need 13 items in total AAAAARRRGGGGGGGG!!! #mad# I can only find six things!!! #mad# MAN!! that room is SMALL!!! Did I mention that I'm clausterphobic!! #omg# #pullhair#
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FUNNIES
Nov 9, 2005 22:08:43 GMT -5
Post by 2ton on Nov 9, 2005 22:08:43 GMT -5
Hehehe, sorry!It is frusterating, but it's a good game....and it'll keep you busy. #lol# Hint: you need 13 items in total AAAAARRRGGGGGGGG!!! #mad# I can only find six things!!! #mad# MAN!! that room is SMALL!!! Did I mention that I'm clausterphobic!! #omg# #pullhair# I gave up. Guess I am stuck in there for all eternity. You may find my mummified body under the bed, or maybe in the drawer.
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FUNNIES
Nov 9, 2005 22:34:38 GMT -5
Post by edel on Nov 9, 2005 22:34:38 GMT -5
Hehehe, sorry!It is frusterating, but it's a good game....and it'll keep you busy. #lol# Hint: you need 13 items in total AAAAARRRGGGGGGGG!!! #mad# I can only find six things!!! #mad# MAN!! that room is SMALL!!! Did I mention that I'm clausterphobic!! #omg# #pullhair# hi christine! wwaahhh, i got 11 things already! wwaahh, where is that battery? if we can guess those quotes, we can get out of this room! Thanks squishy for the hint! i'll keep on trying and if i do get to open that door, Christine, Jane and everyone, you're all coming with me! ;D , Edel
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FUNNIES
Nov 9, 2005 22:35:29 GMT -5
Post by edel on Nov 9, 2005 22:35:29 GMT -5
AAAAARRRGGGGGGGG!!! #mad# I can only find six things!!! #mad# MAN!! that room is SMALL!!! Did I mention that I'm clausterphobic!! #omg# #pullhair# I gave up. Guess I am stuck in there for all eternity. You may find my mummified body under the bed, or maybe in the drawer. hi 2ton! let's not lose hope! we can do this! edel
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FUNNIES
Nov 9, 2005 22:36:26 GMT -5
Post by edel on Nov 9, 2005 22:36:26 GMT -5
Argghh, that's too addicting!! haven't managed to beat my first score yet of 1289....i've just been going downhill since. I've got another one for you...believe me, it will certainly pass the time while we're waiting for the BiG news. There are 3 of these things so if anyone wants the other 2 lemme know....that's if you can get past the first haha www.ebaumsworld.com/crimsonroom.htmlI can't get out! #mur# Jane Jane, a little bit more, we can do this! , Edel
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FUNNIES
Nov 9, 2005 22:40:38 GMT -5
Post by edel on Nov 9, 2005 22:40:38 GMT -5
Hehehe, sorry!It is frusterating, but it's a good game....and it'll keep you busy. #lol# Hint: you need 13 items in total hi squishy! i found a website for the clues hehehe...too bad i can't use it cause by the time that i've discovered it....i've found most of the items already....ohhhh...where is that battery? ? thanks, Edel
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FUNNIES
Nov 9, 2005 22:59:00 GMT -5
Post by freyja on Nov 9, 2005 22:59:00 GMT -5
AAAAARRRGGGGGGGG!!! #mad# I can only find six things!!! #mad# MAN!! that room is SMALL!!! Did I mention that I'm clausterphobic!! #omg# #pullhair# I gave up. Guess I am stuck in there for all eternity. You may find my mummified body under the bed, or maybe in the drawer. #lol_crash# I'm lookin' for ya 2ton but it won'tl let look under the bed!!!! #lol_crash#
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FUNNIES
Nov 9, 2005 23:08:24 GMT -5
Post by freyja on Nov 9, 2005 23:08:24 GMT -5
AAAAARRRGGGGGGGG!!! #mad# I can only find six things!!! #mad# MAN!! that room is SMALL!!! Did I mention that I'm clausterphobic!! #omg# #pullhair# hi christine! wwaahhh, i got 11 things already! wwaahh, where is that battery? if we can guess those quotes, we can get out of this room! Thanks squishy for the hint! i'll keep on trying and if i do get to open that door, Christine, Jane and everyone, you're all coming with me! ;D , Edel HI Edel!!! #maatje# I'm up to 9 things now...does the little box of mystery do anything? ? #IDunno# #mad# #help#
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FUNNIES
Nov 9, 2005 23:21:32 GMT -5
Post by edel on Nov 9, 2005 23:21:32 GMT -5
hi christine! wwaahhh, i got 11 things already! wwaahh, where is that battery? if we can guess those quotes, we can get out of this room! Thanks squishy for the hint! i'll keep on trying and if i do get to open that door, Christine, Jane and everyone, you're all coming with me! ;D , Edel HI Edel!!! #maatje# I'm up to 9 things now...does the little box of mystery do anything? ? #IDunno# #mad# #help# hi christine! i sent you a PM...... , Edel
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FUNNIES
Nov 9, 2005 23:23:35 GMT -5
Post by freyja on Nov 9, 2005 23:23:35 GMT -5
#bounce015# OK, this is my last post and then I'm off to bed #bedtime# #offtobed# ...
This is one for all the Dr Suess and Star Trek fans ;D...
Dr. Suess Writes for Star Trek TNG
by Dave Fuller
Picard Sigma Indri, that's the star, So, Data, please, how far? How far?
Data Our ship can get there very fast But still the trip will last and last We'll have two days til we arrive But can the Indrans there survive?
Picard LaForge, please give us factor nine.
LaForge But, sir, the engines are offline!
Picard Offline! But why? I want to go! Please make it so, please make it so!
Riker But sir, if Geordi says we can't, We can't, we mustn't, and we shan't, The danger here is far too great!
Picard But surely we must not be late!
Troi I'm sensing anger and great ire.
Computer Alert! Alert! The ship's on fire!
Picard The ship's on fire? How could this be? Who lit the fire?
Riker Not me.
Worf Not me.
Picard Computer, how long til we die?
Computer Eight minutes left to say goodbye.
Data May I suggest a course to take? We could, I think, quite safely make Extinguishers from tractor beams And stop the fire, or so it seems...
Geordi Hurray! Hurray! You've saved the day! Again I say, Hurray! Hurray!
Picard Mr. Data, thank you much. You've saved our lives, our ship, and such.
Troi We still must save the Indran planet --
Data Which (by the way) is made of granite...
Picard Enough, you android. Please desist. We understand -- we get your gist. But can we get our ship to go? Please, make it so, PLEASE make it so.
Geordi There's sabotage among the wires And that's what started all the fires.
Riker We have a saboteur? Oh, no! We need to go! We need to go!
Troi We must seek out the traitor spy And lock him up and ask him why?
Worf Ask him why? How sentimental. I say give him problems dental.
Troi Are any Romulan ships around? Have scanners said that they've been found? Or is it Borg or some new threat We haven't even heard of yet? I sense no malice in this crew. Now what are we supposed to do?
Crusher Captain, please, the Indrans need us. They cry out, "Help us, clothe us, feed us!" I can't just sit and let them die! A doctor MUST attempt -- MUST try!
Picard Doctor, please, we'll get there soon.
Crusher They may be dead by Tuesday noon. *COMMERCIAL BREAK, COMMERCIAL BREAK HOW LONG WILL THESE DUMB ADS TAKE?*
Worf The saboteur is in the brig. He's very strong and very big. I had my phaser set on stun -- A zzzip! A zzzap! Another one! He would not budge, he would not fall, He would not stun, no, not at all! He changed into a stranger form All soft and purple, round and warm.
Picard Did you see this, Mr. Worf? Did you see this creature morph?
Worf I did and then I beat him fairly. Hit him on the jaw -- quite squarely.
Riker My commendations, Klingon friend! Our troubles now are at an end!
Crusher Now let's get our ship to fly And orbit yonder Indran sky!
Picard LaForge, please tell me we can go...?
Geordi Yes, sir, we can.
Picard Then make it so! #lol#
Nite ALL!!! #ciao# Christine ;D
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